For a Random Stranger . . .

Last sunday I and a few of my friends - Gupta, Purnesh, Riddhesh, Kaloti were at Panino near Maitrayee CCD. Need less to say there was a lot of bakar and belches between us. And that was when I noticed her standing right next to our table.

At first I didn't notice her or lets just say I didn;t bother to staer  at her. To be honest the chilly chicken roll was too tasty to take my miond off it. But when I was finally done with the roll I could finally channelize my focus on her.

Man! She was beautiful - damn gorgeous - damn pretty and would it be too much if I say - Innocent looking? Nah! All these are probably under statements. I felt so strongly pulled towards her. My eyes wee fixated on her.

I was debating in my mind whether to approach her or not. But I chickened out and decided not to do so. After a while as we were leaving I told my buddies that she had caught my attention and I felt like talking to her. Needless to say they all got charged up and at once started coaxing me.

"Bhai ja toh! Kuch nahi hoga!"

[Bro! Go for it! Nothing's going to happen.]

"Bhai fir se aisa mauka nahi milega bhai!"

[You won't get such a chance again]

"Baadme pachtaane se accha aaj chappal kha lena"

[Its better to get slapped today than regretting later]

"Hum hai na tere saath"

[We are there for you]

Finally after probably thinking a lot and mustering up all my courage I approached her, stopping several times in the way. When I reached to her somehow I was disappointed that she was on phone.

"Excuse me Ma'am, can I talk to you for a minute?"

She seemed to be startled but did a little curtsy and gestured at me to wait till she finished the phone call. And that was when I savored the moment. Her attire was relatively simple - a striped orange top and black jeans. Despite that she managed to stand out from the crowd. She had long flowing hair - straightened but locked in a pony. A few of her curls beautifully swayed over her face with the breeze. She flicked them behind her ear. Her supple fair skin glowed under the golden street light. Her eyes were glittering and the little spells of laughter she had while talking on the phone got me - HIGH. I was amazed. :-)

I waited for her to finish her call and was in no mood to give up; especially after going that far. Her heavy-weight friend was throwing dirty looks at me as if I was a Tollywood movie hooligan. Probably she had too much Mayonese in her sandwich. And on the other hand Riddhesh who was accompanying me [he stood probably 15 metres away from us] kept conveying how much more time she needed! I didn't mind though for I could have a little more time to drown in her elegance.

After a minute or so, she ended the call and turned to me. That was it! My heart pounded and it beat faster than a V-12 Lamborghini Engine perhaps. My mind was racing through my vocab drives to chose the right words and my adrenaline glands flooded my bloodstream to move my tongue to utter a word!

"Ma'am, I saw you back there at Panino. I just wanted to pass on a compliment. Please don't mind. . .  I simply couldn't take my eyes off you. You are damn gorgeous, very pretty. . .  Just wanted to tell you this . . . That's it. Happy friendship day! Thank you!" 

I said all that in one go as her expressions slowly changed from being nervous to a cute smile. The subtle blush on her face made her look even more mesmerizing. She slowly said ," Thank you!" Did I mention how sweet her words sounded to my ears? :-D

But in the rush of all this I forgot to do what was most important thing. ASK HER NAME. Like a dumb-ass, I simply smiled back at her and left the place. Damn! I feel like burning my own ass now. 

I really hope that we again cross each other's path some day and on that day the conversation really gains pace and words. It might not sound too significant or heroic but I feel good about it. Expressing yourself really boosts your confidence, isn't it? A special thanks to my brothers - Gupta, Purnesh, Riddhesh and Kaloti!

I don't know who she was, or what she thinks about me or thinks at all or not. And if you are 'THE GIRL' I a writing about I want to tell you - I would love to see you again. A coffee may be? What say? 

Cheers ;-)

Apne pairo pe khada hona . . .

A year ago when I was at home, struggling to find a job and suffering from depression I used to think life would change drastically once I get a job. I used to think getting back to Nagpur would lessen my worries as all my friends are situated there. My horrible experiences at Pune fuelled my beliefs further.

Sadly, today I realized that neither getting a job made me independent nor my life changed drastically. It’s all the same albeit with more loneliness. Every morning I wake up with a disturbance in my mind that I will have to face those morons at the office again, bear their non-sense, stand all day, run here and there to fetch reports. I’m not complaining that working is BAD. Covering the production line and getting a chance to lay my hands on the processes is awesome. I just want to say those higher level management authorities ruin all the enthusiasm and make things more complicated and messy. Otherwise work too would have been fun.

On top of it no matter how important things I have to tend to, I always have to wait till Sunday. 

And once Sunday comes it passes of within a blink of an eye- washing mountains of clothes, cleaning the apartment, ironing, shaving, buying daily needs and stuff and snoring. Earlier Sundays meant going out with friends, savouring on food like no tomorrow, discuss all non-sense but even that has changed now. These days friends chatter all the time on whats-app but when I ask them if they have got any plans for evening, or to hang out or for movie, all of them disappear at once. No one replies and if they happen to reply, which is very rare, its totally irrelevant and downright frustrating. Its simply not like the old times, no one's got time even when they have. Whats App groups are good for people who stay far away but not for those who are in the same city and can ride to each other's place. It adds to arrogance and has made it very easy to make excuses.

Then there are people who keep saying that I have forgotten them and whenever I try to call them either they are out of coverage area, or won’t receive the call, or be busy. These people are so damn busy that they don’t even get time to reply a small text of mine.

I have realized the true meaning of being independent. You have to be all alone. No matter how well you are paid, it’s sufficient and yet insufficient. There’s no one you can talk to in person, screens are the only way of getting entertainment and know each other’s whereabouts even if you stay just two blocks away.

I am sorry for sounding so gloomy and depressed. But all of this makes me very frustrated. I just want to go back to old times when friends would be there in person and not in profile pics. I don’t want to be alone and stuck in this meaningless job life forever. 

I want to grow, and I will come out of this . . .

Confessions of a 22 year old . . .

No particular reason for this pic. Accha laga daal diya!

Its becoming increasingly difficult to keep posting newer blogs. Partly because - I'm too consumed in work, in my novel, in my thoughts, in my difficulties and of course my laziness. Confessions, it's so surprising that how often I use this word. It doesn't yield any result though but this is another name I give to my guilty pleasures, my dreams, my crushes, my mistakes, my untold desires and what not.

I was on a leave since the past few days and I had all the time in the world to ponder upon my restless thoughts. Thanks to my home being in a NO-NETWORK zone or else whats-app would have drained that time too.

I am going to list all the thoughts (creepy non-sense) all the way down just to unload my brain.
1. I always feel I need a better job despite getting a chance to work with the Boeing guys. :-P

2. I want to work just 4 days a week.

3. I don't want to be answerable to any one if I wish to take a leave after having burnt my ass at work all day.

4. I want to write more and more and MORE. O:-)

5. Want to go places

6. Want to learn more

7. Want to have a small home (with a private gaming theatre and a huge underground basement for all my Lamborghinis )

8. Not to think too much.I fail miserably at that.

9. Not to gloom over my past.

10. Have my room mates back with me. And for that matter I want to go back in time and re-live my college days. Building a time machine sounds better. o_O

11. Not to fall in love with the same girl again and again. X-(

12. She asked me if I regretted falling for her - NO! B-)

13. Do I want to fall for her again - I don't know! If you are the girl I wrote about and if you are reading this - You should help me find someone new ;-)

14. She again asked me what kind of girl do you want - Someone whom I can actually get. To be honest - on whose checklist I tick all the boxes.

15. Want to be a writer, a graphic novelist, an automobile designer, open a custom bike workshop,
travel the world, play games like no tomorrow, be a GAZILLIONAIRE. :-D

16. I want to have good food to eat. Shimla mirch and Kundroo should be banned through out the world.

17. Be at the peak of my health and be in great shape. Read that as the kind of body on which girls drool over. :-P

18. Be myself. B-)

19. Be independent.

20. MOST IMPORTANT - MAKE MY PARENTS PROUD. O:-)

None of them are new and none of them are important as well. I felt like posting it up for relieving my mind and laugh at this later.

Thanks for your time....I am glad to have a friend like you!

Cheers!