It all started when I was in Grade 3!

When I tell my friends about my crushes and all the tragic mishaps that followed thereafter, I often get to hear this,

"Bey tab kuch samajta to bhi tha kya!" 

[ Man! Did we even understand anything at that time!]

And all I say to myself in my mind," Damn! I would get hard-ons even at that age!"

My roommate , wanted to see who all had been my crushes. Right from my first crush. Soon I dug all my old mailboxes which had been gathering dust, crowded online hard drives, and those ultra-zazzy facebook profiles. I found myself sailing through an ocean of memories. Some really very good and some of them rubbish as hell.

I saved a pic of my first crush on my hard disk and recalled how she looked at that time! It all started when I was 9, just NINE! She used to stay in the colony next to mine, was in my class and one of the prettiest girls in school. She used to come to my place for playing badminton. I loved playing with her and would often  refuse to play with anyone else if she were around.

My parents were adamant that I could learn to ride cycle only when I would turn 10. I was fine with it but when I saw her riding a cycle, my male ego [pun intended] was badly bruised and hurt. I HAD to learn cycling I thought and take her out for double sit trips. I had a tough time convincing my parents to let me learn to ride a cycle. Even they were surprised at my sudden demand for the same. 

Soon the day came wherein I was loaded with the skills of cycling and I dared to ask her to sit on the carrier of the cycle. But alas! My overly matured brain failed to understand that double sits on a cycle is much more difficult than riding alone. Result- I lost balance and we were almost inside the roadside dust bin.

I was feeling defeated and ashamed at that. [I used to be a chauvinist at that time]. She offered to take me double sit and I gladly followed. I was so happy that day and I soon started to feel as if she too liked me. 

On my 9th birthday she gifted me a set of pencil, an eraser and a sharpener and for the first time in my life I ignored the G.I.Joe set that my uncle had gifted me! My parents were badly shocked due to that. And after a few days when she came to my place for playing badminton as usual. I had mustered up all my courage and decided to tell her about my feelings. [Imagine a boy proposing a girl who is just 9!] 

I knowingly smashed the shuttle hard to one side. She failed to hit it and it fell on the ground. She moved to pick it up and taking advantage I hopped close to her and by the time she stood back I quickly gave her a peck on her cheek and said, " P********! I love you! Mai tujhse pyaar karta hu!" She just smiled at that and we went back to playing. 

I thought it was a 'Yes' but later something very bitter happened. I told a friend of mine about my feelings for her. And he in turn spread it in the entire friend circle of mine. And soon I came to know from another friend of mine that she used to make fun of me. I soon became a laughing stock among all my friends. That day I came home in the evening from school badly upset. When my parents insisted to know what happened I burst into tears telling them the entire story. :'(

That was a huge set back for them but they never scolded me and made me understand that I was too small for things like these and they asked me to ignore her from then on-wards. And since that day I stopped playing with her.

I never thought that this incident would ever resurface in my life. But when I was in high school a self-proclaimed Don type of guy made a scene in the crowded maths tuition. :-@

"Bey Rachit! Kya re tune P******** ko 4th standard me propose kiya tha na?"

[Hey Rachit! Tell me....Had you proposed P******** when you were in 4th Grade?"

The entire hustle bustle in the tuition came to a halt as if everyone was stunned. I used to be among the top 5 students of college at that time and all of a sudden I found my 'Good Boy' image in a danger of being washed away. The crowd was breathlessly waiting to hear my response.

"Nahi nahi nahi nahi! Kuch bhi bol raha kya tu! Kuch nahi tha aise", I desperately tried to suppress the topic!

[No, no, no, no! Not at all! What rubbish is this! ] 

He grinned cunningly! "Accha accha theek hai! Chal ye bata M****a kaisi hai?"

[OK! All right, then tell me how's M****a?"

He brought up another hot topic of my then crush midst the crowd again. I refused again and ran downstairs trying to hide my embarrassment. [Rather my ass] o_O

Jumping back to my school days! This time I was in Grade 9. Those were the days when the guys used to say, "Be wo meri samaan hai! Dur raho usse" [Hey everybody, I have my eyes for her, stay away from her] and fight within themselves.  

Inter-House Drama Competition was approaching and preparations were at its peak. There I met N**a. She was the then combination of boldness and beauty. And she was not only the apple of my eyes but also of many other boys. One of them claiming himself to be her would-be husband. I would often seek chances to be alone with her and play pranks on her. 

When I first saw her in a black saree with that nearly back-less blouse on the day of drama, I was stunned. I complimented her that she looked very hot in that attire. It certainly made her feel very happy [at least I felt so]. Later when the competition was over one of my friends asked me whether I liked her or something. I was caught red handed. I didn't say anything and smiled at that. He decided to play cupid and told her that I liked her. B-)

What I was expecting was- to hear a hell lot of music from her. But, instead the guy who claimed to be her would-be husband came to threaten me.[ That was a tried and tested method of hiding one's insecurity about competition ]. His name was Anurag if I remember correctly.  I was not among those boys who would easily pick up fights so naturally I was scared. I convinced him that there was nothing going on among us and he let me go. I sensed the danger in proceeding with her and soon changed my mind about her. [ Till date I still laugh at him, because she is now in relationship with some other guy :-P ] 

Flowing to the days of Grade 10. That was the first year of me with multiple crushes at the same time. This girl used to sit on the bench just a feet away from me and not seldom would we find ourselves engrossed in childish flirts. She would sometimes ask me to sing songs for her, though I never complied to her. :-P

Then there was another girl in elocution competition group of Red House. I used to bring her posters and pics of Shah Rukh Khan as she claimed to be the biggest fan of him. That was my idiotic way of trying to impress her. Once while playing truth and dare I had even confessed the truth that if given a chance and choice I would like to marry her. [Someone please kick my butt]

Next one [perhaps, the last crush of mine during my school days] too belonged to the same elocution competition group of our Red House. I had confessed to my sister, Shraddha that I liked her and what she did was commendable. She passed on a hint to her that I was attracted to someone from her class. 

The next day I was caught by her. She kept insisting me to reveal the name of the girl whom I had eyes for. I still don't know why but I didn't even attempt to stop myself and directly said to her in her face, 

"K****i, wo tu hai jise mai pasand karta hu!" 

[K****i, it is you, I like you very much!] . 

What followed next was an avalanche of over-reaction, teary eyes and that typical down market reply,

" Nahi! Hum apne ghar walo ko dhoka nahi de sakte!"

[No, we can't afford to lose the trust of our family]

I didn't say a word to her thereafter and left the place happily. I had once tried to make apologies to her on an unfortunate day. But she was in no mood to talk [P.S- It was on St. Valentines Day of 2007]

I am sure that I had been forgetting many names in this post. Please don't frown upon me, there were too many of them and more than that were the guys who were always ready to  prove their superiority to me. X-(

Stepping on the present. Even these days whenever I get to hear these sort of ultra-girly replies I lose my faith in humanity. I feel like killing myself. No girl ever explains how a guy's liking for her would make her lose trust or vote of confidence at her home! Neither do they explain how they are different from other girls when they say ," Mai doosri ladkiyo ki tarah nahi hu! " [I am not like other girls] And that trend still follows if the guy doesn't own a good bike or has enough money to bring her gifts. :-{

After my 10th Grade I had made up my mind not to go after girls. But with the onset of high-school I met someone who changed my thinking. More about this girl and my longest love story later..... <3

Cheers!