Don't Angry Me!

Two days ago I took my bike to get it serviced. I was pretty curious to see the insides of it and various parts which were before seen by me. As a result, when the mechanic started dismantling the body I kept asking him questions, 'What's this?' , 'What's that?' , 'Can this problem be fixed?' , 'How do you clean this?' and many more.

A while later that guy got the air filter cleaned and was trying to fix it back to the chamber but it wasn't getting locked. I told him that the mesh wasn't fixed properly to the frame due to which the unit wasn't going in the slot.

To this simple comment, he gets furious and says," Tu udhar jaa ke baith! Bilkul muh kholne ka nahi! "

[You go and sit there! Don't you dare open your mouth again!]

I was startled at this but I tried to keep cool and answered, " Are yaar! Meri gaadi hai, dekhne toh do kya hai andar."

[ Hey buddy! Its my bike, let me at least look what's inside ]

He backfires ," Tum logo ka kaam pehle haath me lete hai, to zyada sir pe chadh ke baithte ho tum log! "

[ If we take up your job first, you behave as if you have bought our head. ]

I was fuming but since it was my bike on which he was working I decided to back off and wait till the servicing was done. Meanwhile I narrated the incident to my friend who was there with me and told him that I would screw that guy before leaving the place. Seeing me furious he asked me to calm down. He described me that they were getting irritated by my interference. It was their everyday job and they knew how to handle the problem. It was futile to argue with them. 

I ask him, " Yaar,wo acche se bhi bol sakta tha! Baar baar apne ko hi kyo compromise karna padta hai yaar? Har baar apne ko hi thanda rehna padta chahe saamne wala kitna bhi chadh kar baat kare? Hamesha apne ko hi chup rehna padta bhale hi wo bin kaam ka g**nd me ungli kare? Acche se baat kiya toh bhi saala log dhang se baat nhi karte! Mai hi kay ko adjust karu baar baar?  

[ Buddy he could have said so politely! Why is it always that we have to compromise? Why is that always we have to keep cool no matter how rudely people talk to you? We just can't answer back even if someone comes and grinds your ass for no reason or fault of yours? Even if we talk politely, people backfire you shamelessly! Why the hell should I adjust all the time! ]

He smiles and answers," Kyo ki kaam tera hai, to tujhe adjust karna hi padega! Aur jo aake tujhse faaltoo ka jhaamal jhaamal karta hai, uske point of view se soch, kisi aur ka gussa wo tere pe nikal raha hai. Agar tu bhi garam ho jaega toh tu aage jaakar kisi aur pe gussa nikalega! And tujhe hi adjust karna padega kyo ki tujhe khud start karna padega apne aap se, tab log acche se baat karenge! Gussa nahi karna kabhi!"

[ It is so because its your work he's doing. Besides the one who irritates you without any reason is actually venting someone else's anger on you. So if you too heat up, you will do the same and the cycle will follow. And you are the only one who has to adjust because you need to begin from yourself and only then you will changes happening around! Don't ever get angry for any reason! ]

For respecting his thoughts I decided not to ground that mechanic. But inside I was still fuming because I had not forgiven him instead I had suppressed my anger and it had nowhere to go.  I am often forced to do that. Not just me all of us face so many instances , your nosy neighboring aunt keeps pinching you because she had once seen you with a girl, you teacher scolds you without trying to understand the reason, the interviewer decides to test your patience and starts abusing you. But you cannot say a word against them and CONTROL your temper. Why, because the world says so, my close ones say so - 

Never Get Angry , Don't React , Forgive & Forget , Control your Anger and so many things.

My friends know me as an extremely short tempered guy who gets impulsive at times when things go wrong. Yes I admit it. I have destroyed a mobile phone, a computer mouse, keyboards, chairs, wooden panels and countless important things and have almost fractured my arm while hitting the wall as well. 

I react and I'm proud of it. Reason - Because once I leash my anger about something, I stop bothering about it,  it doesn't consume my mind anymore and I simply feel relaxed despite having incurred losses. And that's the key! Not getting angry is simply impossible. At least for me it is because I am not a superhuman. Its a part of being a normal human being. Trying to eradicate anger is not the key, learning how to let it out cleverly without harming anyone is . 

I vent out my anger on things & myself NOT on people. And what the world says is that he can't control his temper. And when I do suppress my anger as per their norms no one will appreciate or try to understand why I'm clenching my fists, digging my nails in my palm and bleeding or gritting my teeth or why my eyes are red and sore! And at the end of the day I will have acidity or head ache or have a sleepless night but no one comes to know about it.

Due to all this, I decided to carry a small research on anger management and on numerous sites I found something common which we always overlook - Being angry isn't a problem in itself. It’s how you deal with it. 

Since childhood we are taught not to get angry or control your temper which inadvertently results in anger being suppressed again and again and again. And in the long run we tend to get more and more aggressive and people blame us that he/she is ill tempered. Find ways to deal with your anger, let it come out. Have a boxing bag or keep a diary or talk to yourself in a mirror or shout loudly. Do whatever helps you  but don't let yourself get suppressed. You need not bother about making this world a better place or understand someone else's point of view when you have nothing to do with him cause at the end of the day holding back your anger is going to give you an unstable mind.

I am not saying you hit someone everytime something goes wrong. Genuine problems might occur and situations can be critical but if someone crosses their limits don't hold back. If someone really messes up with you or insults you or behaves rudely even when you are POLITE since quite sometime, just SLAM his balls right there and teach him some manners first. 

This blog post, I know is very immature and foolish. But if maturity calls for suppressing and suffering I am proud to be immature.

Check out this link - Mind- Anger 

[ I'm presently listening to - I'm not Afraid - Eminem]

Cheers!