Damn! I still have a crush on her! Post Engineering Days!

My colleagues keep asking me ," Rachit teri girlfriend kya bolti?"

[Rachit, how's your girlfriend?]

To that I smile helplessly and say, " Bhai aisi meri kismat kaha . .  Gareeb insaan hu mai, koi girlfriend nahi hai meri. . ." [ Gah! I don't have a girlfriend ...Sigh] To which they laugh hysterically. :-P

And at the back of the mind I kept thinking of her. [Let me clarify - She still remains to be my crush. The pains of being friend zoned forever :-P ] She got a job and now she would be leaving Nagpur in a day or two. I met her a few days back. It was a beautiful evening and she looked even more beautiful in that simple white salwar suit. Those deep black eyes, twinkling in the orange light of street lamps looked so intense yet and loveable. Every-time I look into those eyes I fall in love with her no matter how hard I try not to. [A few of my friends will curse me while they would read this] This was one of the very few chances we got to be together without anyone else to interrupt us. 

I took this chance to gift her a scrap book that I specially prepared her the previous night. My eyes were sore after that sleepless advent but it was worth the time. The smile on her face was priceless and the moment was just indescribable. She was about to open it and start going through it. But I asked her not to do so. Though I BADLY wanted to see her expressions while she would have read that and relieved all those moments I had packed inside. But I couldn't muster up the courage to answer her questions that would have popped out then. Besides our friends could arrive any moment. 

Once our friends joined in, we got inside the park and started looking for a place to relax. However she didn't want to sit anywhere fearing that her white dress would be ruined. I made some arrangements for her with my white bandana and she gladly accepted it with a smile. She sat besides me talking and joking with others while I kept listening to her, basking in the joy of having her around me, close to me. But that didn't mean I would not tease her. I loved to to see that naughty suppressed smile on her face while she would pretend to be angry and then burst out laughing.

We lived our entire college life in those few hours and munched on snacks like the good old days. The sun had set and she was getting late. After the meet when we finally left I escorted her to her place and through out the way my heart was racing. I was looking for an opportunity to ask her to stop and talk to her but I didn't. Prying eyes and moral policing agents could attack us from anywhere as it was already too late. I wanted to say so many things to her,ask her so many things, express her some untold feelings, dark truths and things which I couldn't even dare to write in the scrap book. But time was running fast. 

Finally when we closed in to her place she herself stopped her moped and I followed the suit. We looked into each-others eyes for a few silent moments before I blurted out some really stupid things while she kept smiling and assuring me that she would come back soon. And when I realized that I had pulled it too long, i just said, " I love you yaar, love you so much! " 

She gave that knowing look, " Rachiiiiiiitttt....", she said and paused , " Take care..."

I knew what she meant, I turned my bike and sped off. To be honest I wanted to hug her tight and kiss her on her forehead. Not much, just a small peck but . . . Gah! Let it be! Next time may be. . .

Cheers!

[ In the background - I walk a lonely road ]